Day 28

I have maintained a daily practice for a whole month! WooHoo! Feels good. Very good actually. On many levels. Physically I am definitely feeling stronger. Mentally, I have been able to focus much better in the last week or so and emotionally I do feel more grounded. A bit more settled. Although I am still working on that. Things still aren't quite "normal" yet. Whatever normal is....maybe I simply need to find a new normal. I suspect that is the case and yes, there is work to be done there.

Day 27

Today, in celebration of completing my final prenatal yoga assignment, I surrendered into a very relaxing and welcome yin practice for my spine. A sequence of forward bends, back bends and twists. Delicious! And just what I needed after all that sitting at a computer these last few days. Correction...make that weeks!

Feels so good to have met my deadline and my back definitely feels better for the yoga.....

Day 26

I'm quite sure that all these sun salutations, warrior poses and arm balances that I feel driven to do during my daily practice at the moment are playing a part in my sudden ability to focus, to concentrate, to power through all the reading, researching and reviewing that I'm doing right now. Yes, it is my fault for leaving it all pretty much to the last minute, circumstances have been unusual lately and I've been procrastinating or simply finding it impossible to focus. Focus on what I should be focusing on, I should add.

Anyway, whatever it's down to, I'm grateful for it. And as much as I miss my husband, I'm also glad of the peace and quiet and space this week which has helped the process along too. Nearly there :-)

Day 25

I haven't really stopped to congratulate myself for getting this far and I should...this is quite something for me! A big turnaround and worthy of note. Personally of course. There are far more amazing things going on out in the big wide world, but in my currently rather small world, this is big. So, duly noted.

Today I was fairly certain that I wouldn't be interrupted by builders walking into my makeshift yoga space (currently the kitchen) so I had a change of routine and enjoyed an hour long practice at my favourite time, late morning. A good balanced practice today. Lovely.

Day 24

I'm not sure if it was yesterday's practice that was responsible for my rare ability to focus so well on my studies today but I didn't want to take any chances, because I still have a few more days of reading, writing and reviewing to go.

Today's practice did echo yesterday's although it was slightly longer.  I enjoyed a very therapeutic slow yang session with lots of long deep breathing to give me energy followed by some delicious yin and a yummy savasana....could have stayed there all evening....but I didn't. Things to do!

Day 23

Today was a significant day. An anniversary of a passing of someone special. 17 years ago.

Rather than sadden me though, it somehow brought more purpose to my day. This person was a wonderful woman who could always bring a smile to my face and was I'd say, quite instrumental in my upbringing in my younger days. She loved to walk...as do I, so today I stopped simply thinking about going out for a walk and actually did it. As I walked, I let myself remember as much as I could about her.

The way she loved to walk
The way she walked so fast that even though I was close to 50 years younger than her I often had to run to keep up with her
The way she loved to dance and would practice her charleston with me
The fat chips she used to make
The way she would almost force feed me oranges because they were filled with vitamin C
The way she always seemed to be happy
The time she let me cuddle up in bed with her when neither of us could sleep as we waited for news from the hospital the night my baby brother (number 1) was born
The way she put way too much salt on everything
The fact that she was a great Nana

It felt good to remember today. It made me smile. As it should do. Time does heal and it helps to be reminded of that at the moment.

What does all this have to do with my yoga practice? To a casual reader, nothing at all, but to me...days like this inspire me to get on my mat for many reasons. I enjoyed a vibrant yang practice followed by a calming yin practice today and it felt good.

Day 22

A fairly average day with not much to report. The basement is coming along nicely, I managed to focus enough to get some of my assignment done and today I was in the mood to up the pace a little on my yoga practice. It must be time...energy levels are on their way up again, which is good and necessary for this week as I'm going to be busy and need all the focus and concentration I can muster for my studies!

Day 21

I'm past the half way mark! That feels good to know but at the same time, I know that the purpose of this practice is to restore a daily practice in my life, so really, day 21 or day 41...it doesn't really matter because my intention is to keep going, it's only the blog that has a shelf life to help me reach that point.

Today's practice was more active than the past two days but it was still relatively gentle as this is what my body was guiding me towards. I love how it ultimately knows what it needs on any given day, all I really need to do is get on my mat....

Day 20

Another day immersed in household re-organisation. This is a huge task, much bigger than even I expected but definite progress was made today and I was able to take a welcome break by early evening for another relaxing yin session, this time focusing on poses which affect the liver and gall bladder. This felt appropriate after having one too many chocolate martinis last night. That will be one chocolate martini then :-)

Day 19

As it turned out, today was a day that I wouldn't normally do an active yoga practice. A day when I prefer to honour my body's natural rhythms. On a practical front, today was busy...I took my pace as fast as it would allow as we have so much to do to get the house straight. Really...it's unbelievable the mess the place was in when the removal guys left yesterday. I guess integration is hard on many levels, not just emotional!

So, been cleaning and dusting and moving and washing and trying to get some order into the place. Before breakfast I was definitely feeling overwhelmed and I realised the only way to do it was to take it one step at a time. One breath at a time. Be present for the job I was doing and nothing else. My tendency is to start one job in one room, which takes me to another room...and then get completely distracted by something else in that room...and start another job there! So I tend to end up with lots of jobs started but nothing finished. It took some effort to stay focussed on the kitchen today but I knew I had to if we ever wanted to prepare food in there again.  And I did it :-)

With that achievement under my belt, I thought my body deserved some yoga despite my usual habit, so I treated it to a gentle yin practice and ended with some meditation. My body knew when it needed to come out of the poses...and my practice was a bit shorter than it would normally be, and that too is OK. Listening to my body is my main goal here, today and every day. Some days it feels good to give as much as I possibly can, other days like today, it's important to go with the flow and just take it easy.

Day 18

Day 18 was nearly a non event entirely, in terms of yoga practice. As it was, all I managed today was 15 minutes of meditation. But that's OK.

Today was a Big Day. Our shipment arrived. We were told our container would arrive at 8.30am, so we were up bright and early and ready ahead of time. No sign of a container though. Some men turned up on time and laid some runners on the stairs and told us it would be here very soon.  It turned up around 10am I think in the end. It was late anyway. The house was busy and very messy until around 6pm when the guys finally finished unpacking the boxes. The house was an absolute tip. Looked like a bomb had hit. Every room apart from my tiny office and a bathroom was affected. I couldn't even retreat to the safety of my yoga room as I usually can because in the shift, it is transitioning into a new space, so it had other stuff in it now. There really was no place to do yoga. Hardly even a space big enough to roll out a mat with the surrounding devastation! Maybe on the deck...after all the thaw was underway today with a balmy 7 degrees, but no...I'm not an exhibitionist nor that hardy. On top of that, we hadn't eaten properly all day because the kitchen was also under fire. All work surfaces covered and just stuff everywhere...not exactly a cooking environment! So as soon as we had the opportunity we had to go out and grab a bite...and to be frank, celebrate the safe return of our Stuff!  It is a relief to have it all back in one place again, I have to say.

We returned to the same mess we left behind and started to tackle it again, one piece of furniture/box of books at a time. I was starting by 10pm to feel overwhelmed with it all;  We were making progress but still had so far to go! So, I decided to take a break. Find the calmest place I could in the house and sit...meditate, just for a while, knowing it would help calm my mind a bit and also relieve the guilt I was feeling from having not practiced today. It helped a bit...from time to time thoughts of what I still needed to do popped up...naturally....

Having said that, I am OK with how things went today. I was not avoiding or procrastinating or making excuses...I just had a very real priority. I had to pay attention to the task in hand.  That's life, stuff happens and things are inconvenient some days. We have to make adjustments, be flexible. The encouraging thing is that I missed my yoga today and I know that tomorrow I will make sure I have time to clear a space....

Day 17

Ugh. Stressy day. Not sure why really. Maybe it's the full moon. Anyway... should have got on my mat when I first thought about it around 11am today. Of course I didn't... there were other things distracting me and I decided to stick to my usual late afternoon slot. By the time that arrived I was good for nothing. All I wanted to do was have a nice cup of tea. In my experience there is only one thing that can perk me up as much, possibly more than a cup of tea and that is restorative yoga. I've been avoiding it in recent weeks because I don't have all my props back from HK yet and bad restorative yoga is, in my opinion, not usually worth doing. Today however, I was desperate and I gathered together what props I did have and made the best of it. It wasn't so bad, after all, it's been a while and my body was sooooo tired. It was good...almost an hour later I emerged definitely calmer and happier and a bit less exhausted.

Just as well really because now I have to move some furniture, in preparation for the shipment delivery tomorrow.

Day 16

Whilst I do believe yesterday's yoga session helped restore some of my missing energy, today's practice also needed to be gentle. So, I coupled that need with another need currently on my priority list. That of a yoga assignment. A prenatal yoga assignment. One of the things I need to do is to take (and review) 6 prenatal yoga classes and these can include DVDs. So, I got my Shiva Rea Prenatal Yoga DVD out of it's case for the first time and took a gentle, refreshing yoga class in my living room. It actually hit the spot quite well. All I needed to do to complete my body's needs today was to end with a restorative back bend which was not included.  It's actually a very good gentle, compassionate practice for anyone who is feeling a bit under the weather...physically or otherwise. So...I got my practice...and I started another piece of homework :-)

Day 15

Today, by the time I came to practice at 5pm my energy levels were unusually low so I chose a 60 minute yin session, working with the kidney meridian which is associated mainly with the spine on a physical level and the balance between fear & wisdom on the emotional level.  Deficient kidney chi can reveal itself in many ways, but an obvious one is a weakened immune system, and I feel I have been fighting the start of a cold for the last 24 hours, so I'm hoping this will help counteract that.

Energy levels certainly have improved since my session, so hopefully coupled with an early night, it will do the trick!

Day 14

Yoga by candlelight...sounds romantic...especially on Valentines Day!

Mind you, I have to confess that it was not intentional mood setting by any means, it was purely for practical reasons. Due to home renovations, we've been switching rooms and moving stuff around in preparation for completion. Part of that preparation over the weekend, somehow left my current yoga space without a light and as I have recently got into the habit of practicing late afternoon/early evening, it means that my room is dark...too dark for yoga. However, I do have a candle in there, which after brief consideration, seemed like a perfect solution - and it was!  Once my eyes got used to the subdued lighting, I loved it. It gives the space a real sense of calm, draws attention away from any potential visual stimulus and to be honest, it was more than enough light to do yoga. And, even though I practice listening to my body and moving in a way that feels good for me, I enjoyed the fact that when the candlelight was behind me, it allowed the outline of my body (or more to the point, the alignment of my pose!) to be reflected on the wall in front of me, and I have to say, it helped me self-adjust effectively and guide my body into a stronger pose every time.

Lovely. Happy Valentines Day!

Day 13

It occurred to me today that since I started doing some daily yoga (asana) I have definitely had less back pain, which has been one of my recurring ailments for a few years now. In fact, a lot less. I don't think that needs any explaining really!

Today was a 50 minute slow flow session. Good for both body and mind, without a doubt.

Day 12

With a busy Saturday planned I was a bit worried that I might actually forget to practice today, with so many other priorities on my To Do list. I didn't though...when I got home from the supermarket I was actually quite keen to take refuge on my mat and escape the remaining tasks on the list for an hour or so. I even felt a little bit guilty for taking the time out when there was so much to do and I could hear Alan working away in the room beneath me. Thankfully once I got into my practice the guilty thoughts dissolved and I enjoyed an hour of what I'd call a "balanced" practice. A little bit of everything. Some meditation, pranayama, yin and yang. Nice. Turns out I needed it more than I thought. I feel more relaxed but more awake and ready to cook dinner now.

Day 11

So there was me thinking that I "couldn't" practice yoga with workmen in the house. Yes, it's a bit distracting and slightly uncomfortable to know there are men that you don't know all that well in your basement, but I was fed up today of the waiting...the waiting until they left. Yesterday I couldn't wait until 8pm to practice and had to just get on with it before I ran out of day, so I decided to do the same thing today, only more pro-actively. After all, they are not working in my yoga space as such (although at times it did feel like it). The walls and floors are thin here. It was interesting though. I decided to honour my preference for a late morning practice and did a 50 minute slow and gentle vinyasa, with lots of long holds and long deep breaths. It felt good. At times there was banging right beneath me...sawing...that's a new one. Perhaps they are doing the media shelving. And of course some compulsory drilling. Oh, and vacuuming. It was all going on down there. Men on a mission...with a deadline approaching. Meanwhile there was me, doing yoga and trying to quiet my mind.

The contrast, or you could say the yin and yang of this situation, seemed funny today. Made me smile, even chuckle out loud. Normally noise upsets and distracts me. Maybe it's something to do with feeling more relaxed after 10 consecutive days of yoga or just feeling at home...or maybe it's just that I'm pleased the work is finally getting done and the noise will all be worth it!

Either way, I broke down a belief barrier today. Next week I won't be so reluctant to practice when I want to...so long as my mind is willing.

Day 10

On Day 10 it is already starting to feel a bit more like a habit.

It is getting easier to find or make the time to practice. My commitment is what is getting me on my mat every day. I never really think of myself as competitive...with other people, but I actually think I can be quite competitive with myself, once I have set a standard. If that makes sense. If I have said that I'll do something, chances are I'll do it. Whatever it takes.

Today was a bit of a challenge having said all that.  Today reminded me of practicing in our apartment in Hong Kong. Just one word. Drilling! We had a man in our basement all day today, building a fireplace. There was drilling on and off and we all knew that he needed to get it finished before he left for the day so that the carpet can go down tomorrow.

So, my choice was either a bedtime practice or a "just do it anyway" kind of thing. I went for the latter and as I'd taken a Zumba class this morning, I once again opted for some relaxing yin yoga as Zumba definitely took care of my yang practice today! I often use my yin practice as an opportunity for some mindfulness meditation too.  I think that helped today....of course I was distracted, but my focus was on my breathing primarily...it gave me something to do rather than really hear the drilling and radio noises coming up through the floorboards. Oh and thank goodness for carpet too.

Day 9

I've felt tired and restless all day. Concentration has been an issue which is frustrating because I have some assignments to complete at the moment, involving lots of reading, so I need my focus. Not a "productive" day, but otherwise fine, relatively non eventful really, apart from all the noise coming from the basement; workmen...voices and drilling mainly.

I was reluctant to practice today. I'd had plans to go to a new Nia class that I found and was very excited about. Then it started to snow and didn't show any signs of stopping. I haven't quite re-acclimated to the winter weather yet and felt a bit nervous about heading out while it was actively snowing. Nia would have been good for me tonight in this mood - I think it would have lifted me, but instead, faced with defeat on the Nia front, I decided to honour my low energy levels. Restorative would have been good. Being able to let go completely might have helped but all my blankets and bolsters are still on a boat, rather than in my yoga room, and makeshift restorative yoga really doesn't work for me. I need as many props as possible to make it a truly restorative experience! So I went with yin (a routine for the spleen/stomach) and a long savasana. It was challenging today, to be still. Not usually a problem I have, but by the time I re-emerged I'd clocked up a healthy 75 minute practice.

I hope my props arrive soon.

Swami Satyananda Saraswati on Yoga Nidra

I read this today on one of the blogs I like follow and just loved it... so I'm sharing it...

Swami Satyananda Saraswati on Yoga Nidra

Day 8

Yoga is so adaptable, I think that is one of the reasons it works for me so well. I get bored with routine, doing the same thing all the time.

Today was another late afternoon, 75 minute practice but it began with a seated meditation for 25 minutes. That surprised me somewhat as I haven't sat in meditation like that for a little while, at least not so willingly. Following that came a gentle vinyasa practice. Relaxing and a little bit energising at the same time.

A good Day 8.

Day 7

Things that were supposed to happen today, didn't. People didn't show up when I was expecting them and things did not get done on time. I struggle with this kind of day but I am learning how to go with the flow and just accept that things don't always go the way you expect them to, or indeed, want them to.  Instead of getting angry and chasing people up, I decided I should just make the best of the peace and quiet and get on with some homework that involves a lot of reading. It was great to have the house completely quiet for that, I always struggle with noisy distractions when I am trying to concentrate. So it seems that although it was not what was scheduled for today, it turned out to be a relatively productive day anyway and I feel good about that.

For whatever reason I was not really in the mood for yoga today, I felt my yoga tank was full, didn't really feel the need for more, but....that's not how it works. So rather than put the kettle on and snack on a biscuit, which is what I really wanted to do, I rolled out my mat and climbed aboard.  Today I did a 75 minute practice consisting mainly of yang postures...lots of sun salutations. I seem to have developed a new relationship with my sun salutation...in a good way. I like it. After about 45 minutes I was feeling tired and things slowed down naturally and concluded with a good long savasana. Nice.

Day 6

Day 6 falls on a Sunday.

Even when my practice was more regular than it's been of late, I have always been a bit reluctant to practice on a Sunday. I think it's a mixture of having lots of other fun things to do, being out and about because it's the weekend and because Sunday is traditionally a bit of a lazy day, if you spend it at home.

Today I've been at home, and yes I've been doing "stuff" but it does feel like a bit of a lazy Sunday. By 4pm my mat was definitely calling me, after all, I made a commitment to myself, but it was definitely more of a struggle to get on it today. I made it though. At 5.30pm for an hour. Given the pace of my day and my slight reluctance I opted for a whole hour of yin yoga, working specifically with the spleen/stomach meridian. I do love my yin practice and it is the style that I have been most loyal to this past year. I've needed the sense of calm that it brings and the stillness. Today I didn't "need" it, but it was most welcome and I feel even better than I did an hour ago.

Just another reminder that it is always beneficial to make that extra effort...as my teachers used to say during my training..."just get on the mat..."

Day 5

Today has not been a good day. Emotionally. Fortunately from a practice point of view, it was one of those days where as soon as the opportunity presented itself, I was very keen to get on my mat and take some very deep breaths. So, on the plus side I managed a 75 minute yang/yin practice with some meditation.

I do feel a bit better for it too. My mind feels slightly less troubled and a little bit clearer.

Day 4

Ahhhh. Pleased to report a successful Day 4. Contractors had gracefully departed again in time for me to withdraw into my yoga room and step onto my mat at 5pm for what turned out to be a 90 minute personal practice. Today was the first day that I decided to go with my own flow, as it were, rather than follow a DVD. It's been a while (maybe a few months) since I did a personal practice of this length. While we were travelling a lot over Christmas and January, I would manage to roll out my mat every few days just long enough to ease the immediate tension from my body, but to flow for 90 minutes, well...it's been a while longer, I'm sad to say.

I'd started Day 1 with a DVD to help me; so that I didn't have to think, just follow. Be told what to do. Ultimately though, the point of this "exercise" is to get back into my personal practice, just me and my mat, so today was a big step, relatively speaking. I didn't give myself time to dwell on it too much but I was a bit curious as to whether I'd actually remember what it was I used to do, but I needn't have worried. It was rather like riding a bike. From the moment I stepped on the mat to the moment I opened my eyes after my meditation, it simply flowed from one pose to the next and it felt natural. No unnecessary pauses. Afterwards my body felt great. My mind felt calmer. I felt ready for the weekend.

Today was a reminder that my body knows what it needs. It's all very well to follow a class, and I love to do that, but once you know "the moves" then there is nothing quite like just allowing your body to decide what poses it wants to do. What was interesting for me was that my body chose some relatively strong postures today...it didn't want to stop with the sun salutations and the warriors, which often I do because I feel I should, for the benefits they will be bring, not because they are my favourite poses! Today though, my body knew that I needed energy, vitality and strength. Of body and mind! We really should trust our bodies more.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow.....

Day 3

Good news. Today the contractor finished early and left me with an empty house in time for a late afternoon practice. So today I enjoyed a 60 minute vinyasa session followed by a nice long savasana, just when I needed it, courtesy of Sarah Powers' Insight DVD. I feel good.

Day 2

Day 2 was good.

I was right in thinking that I'd have workmen in and out the house most of the day, so I set my intention to practice once they left. I was hoping for a late afternoon, but the snow put a stop to that. The boys were late arriving and as a result had to stay later than usual...anyway... I finally got to my mat at 6pm. As it was already dark and my energy was starting to dip, I opted for an hour of yin yoga followed by 30 minutes of meditation. Perfect. It was both relaxing and a little energising and it gave my slightly achey muscles a rest after yesterday's long overdue yang session.

Day 1

Day 1 went well. I got on my mat and stayed there for 2hrs 15 mins. That's a long practice for me! To be clear though, I was following a DVD sequence which I thought was 90 minutes, simply because I read it wrongly, but it was just what I needed. I love Sarah Powers and her Insight DVD. My sequence incorporated some yin, some very conscious and steady yang and finished with meditation. By the time the gong chimed I felt great. Much more relaxed and at ease in my body and rather pleased with myself for achieving so much on my first day.

I already know that I'll probably find it more challenging to get on my mat over the next few days. We have basement renovations going on for the next few weeks. They started today but after my practice had taken place. Tomorrow I have 2 contractors arriving probably around 8am. I've tried the early morning practice but it's really not for me. I need to wake up first, to move around a bit. To allow my body time to wake up naturally. To organise myself, otherwise thoughts for the day will creep in and take over. My favourite time to practice is late morning. Today I achieved that, tomorrow might be a different story though.

My 40 Day Path to Change

They say it takes 40 days to change a habit....or rather, to create one.

I seriously need to change some habits after my "year out" and to create a new, healthier way of being again. Before I left Ottawa I was teaching some yoga, I had a daily practice, physically I felt good and most of the time, my mind felt good too.

Hong Kong already feels like a bit of a distant memory in some respects. That's the thing with change. If you just get on with it, you come to realise that life goes on, wherever you are. You adjust and adapt and morph into your new surroundings. In letting some things go, you have space for new things to come into your life.

I'm sure new things will come in time, but I think I owe it to myself to help things along a little, not to mention the fact that I owe it to my body to get it back in condition. Lose those extra pounds I gained lunching, socialising, travelling and dining out far more than I ever have before!

Since my return 10 days ago, I've been trying to motivate myself to re-engage with my yoga practice but to be honest, it hasn't quite happened the way I'd planned. I know restorative yoga would have helped my jet lag, but I didn't actually do any. I know that a gentle vinyasa sequence would have given me some much needed energy and diminished some of my aches and pains, but I didn't get to that either.

I needed something or someone to prod me in to action and inspiration came yesterday, on the last day of January, when my own frustration with myself co-incided with a Facebook post from one of my favourite yoga centres here in Ottawa, suggesting that I commit to a 40 Day Challenge. I instantly agreed! The only problem is that I know a commitment to a daily practice over the next 40 days will be challenging enough at the moment with all the thoughts in my head and a few more limitations in my body than usual, so driving downtown through the possible snowstorms for an hour every day to take a studio class, is likely to be a step too far for me.

Instead I commit to restarting my daily home practice. I have everything I need here already to make that happen. The only thing I was lacking is motivation but by starting this blog and announcing my intention to the world, I seem to have resolved that.

Let the Challenge Begin!